family
I don’t think I quite understand old sayings like “you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family” or “blood is thicker than water” or even “you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you’re can’t pick your friends nose.”
I understand how blood used to be thicker than water, when tribes had to stick together or be eaten by lions. I also get that when you’re a kid, you have to play with the hand you’re dealt when it comes to parents and siblings. But I’m at a complete loss to how extended family should function in the post-modern world. What inspires a sense of family loyalty or an effort to keep in touch throughout our adult lives? Are the bonds that (are supposed to) form during childhood enough to span decades? I’m looking for, but can’t find, a cultural framework to navigate this part of being human.
We live, we grow, we travel, and we choose. We don’t have to settle our differences or reconcile past conflicts because, really, we never have to see each other. Does that make us better off or somehow socially impoverished? We choose the village that will raise our children. Would they be happier knowing those who share their genetic make-up? Is it worthwhile to labor through dysfunctional family relationships simply because “blood is thicker than water?”
No, really, I honestly have no idea.
